My blog has been quite inconsequential of late. I’ve got other things going that are severely interfering with my ability to entertain you deviants. I’m not going bye-bye; just taking a bit of a break…as if any of you will notice. I’ve been posting quite poorly these past couple of weeks and I’m afraid my inspiration has gone by the wayside. Perhaps I need more Haagen-Daaz (screw the umlaut) coffee ice cream.
All I know is the Delaware blogosphere infighting between Delaware 2006 and Dana Garrett is more entertaining than I could ever offer. Join in their wacky fun.
Or, take the time to reintroduce your scandalous selves to the King of the Delaware Blogosphere, Sebastian from First Slate. He’s really got his shit up and running nowadays and is there to serve you, the humble assholes jeopardizing your jobs by reading this filth on company time.
Love you all and I promise I’ll be back. Play nice and don’t forget to take your anti-depressants.
Obligatory Musical Accompaniment: Pick your poison. I’ve got two versions of the classic Parker & Charles song We’ll Meet Again for you to download. First, I’ve included Joe Henry’s version from his excellent, 1999 album Fuse. Second, I’ve got Johnny Cash’s interpretation from his 2002 album American IV: The Man Comes Around.
Joe Henry, We’ll Meet Again (right click, save as)
Johnny Cash, We’ll Meet Again (right click, save as)
Posted by Mike Matthews in Personal at 1:47 PM PDT
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I’ve said for the past year or so that the only person who could likely bring that mess of a country Iraq under control is its own former, brutal dictator who knew how to keep Islamic crazies in line.
Well, Saddam Hussein now agrees with me. But, will the US follow suit? Doubtful.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Political Landscape at 3:28 PM PDT
Talk dirty to me »
The biggest bunch of reactionary retards is gathering over at Michelle Malkin’s joint. Check out their unhinged reactions to several media outlets’ uncovering of the US money-transfer-spying program. Some of the manipulated and Photoshopped WWII propaganda posters are well done, though.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 10:31 PM PDT
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…from former FBI head nutjob Louis Freeh! Yup, the same Louis Freeh who bungled Ruby Ridge, Waco, Richard Jewell, and probably 9/11 intelligence.
With friends like Freeh supporting your campaign, who needs enemies?
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 12:10 PM PDT
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Sen. Joe Biden is a lush who likes purple, Girlie Man drinks that can be sipped through a straw! But The Color Purple is also poetic to Sen. Bullshit. These Unite Our States martinis are meant to unite the lascivious desires of overworked and underpaid young DC interns!
About 140 young Biden supporters paid $40 each to cram into a low-ceilinged back room of Lounge 201, a martini bar located conveniently near the U.S. Capitol. They snapped up Generation United campaign buttons and sipped gingerly at the Unite Our States martinis – a dubious concoction of red and blue liquors, meant to symbolize the healing of the divide between the red states and the blue. (The News Journal)
There goes Sen. Biden gettin’ all symbolic and shit. I wonder if it’s true he lifted that recipe –without citing its source– from Sen. Ted Kennedy.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 10:28 AM PDT
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The nurses have turned to Communism to get back due wages from Capitalist pig hospital “chain” corporations!
From the article:
Nurses backed by the biggest U.S. health-care union on Tuesday filed four class-action lawsuits against some of the biggest U.S. hospitals, including No. 1 chain HCA Inc., claiming they conspired to depress wages for nurses amid a national shortage.
The lawsuits, which also target the biggest U.S. Catholic hospital system, Ascension Health, charge that the hospitals regularly discussed nurses’ wages in meetings, over the telephone and in written surveys, in an effort to coordinate and suppress pay.
This is ridiculous. Why are we allowing terrorist nurses the ability to hijack our health care system all because they’re not getting paid? Are nurses under a federal umbrella like the air traffic controllers were 25 years ago? If so, we could just get George Bush to fire them all. Can monkeys be trained in phlebotomy?
Posted by Mike Matthews in Craziness at 3:37 PM PDT
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Aren’t we all supposed to be dead thanks to bird flu by now?
Discuss.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 3:27 PM PDT
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Republican Jan Ting yesterday announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. His run against incumbent, Democrat Tom Carper, should be a feisty and irreverent one. He’s already thrown out some great zingers against Carper as well as thorn-in-his-side Mike Protack, who is forcing Ting into a Republican primary election in September.
For the best coverage and for some great feedback from candidate Protack, check Dana Garrett’s Delaware Watch.
All of the sudden I’m in the mood for some tasty MSG.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 10:27 AM PDT
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Damn…I love anonymous tips. I got this email yesterday about some crazy-ass democrat chick from Georgia who’s included a “rap” on her website as one of her campaign tools. No doubt to reach out to the “crunk” ghetto folk that inhabit most of Georgia. Or, at least, Atlanta.
Check out the Vote 4 Miss Angela Rap. If you don’t piss yourself laughing, then you’ll surely choke on your own vomit.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Dumb stuff at 12:42 PM PDT
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Mark Twain once said: Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Anyone who doubted George Bush was a fool — and, who doubts that? — should no longer after watching his ridiculous press conference called after his PR stunt involving yesterday’s trip to Iraq:
President Bush, freshly home from a visit to Iraq, acknowledged on Wednesday that violence in Iraq would never be completely eliminated.
“That’s not going to happen,” he told a Rose Garden news conference.
Now, Mr. President, what exactly do you mean by saying that violence in Iraq would never end? Violence in the sense of terrorist insurgents blowing up 20-30 people at a time? Or violence in the sense that every country in the world has “violence?”
Does anyone else seriously hate this man? Maybe Michelle Malkin is right in her diagnosis of the far-left’s Bush Derangement Syndrome. I can’t think of a better person to hate.
Posted by Mike Matthews in ODB (Our Dumb Bush) at 12:00 PM PDT
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You assholes deserve it. While you give yourselves a “2 percent cost of living raise,” millions of Americans sit back and wonder why their Fortune 500 companies have denied them meager, “2 percent cost of living” raises.
You all are pathetic. One brave soul, though, attempted to squash the pay raise. We should raise our glasses to Rep. Jim Matheson, D-Utah, who attempted to block the automatically awarded pay raise through a direct vote.
I wonder where conservatives AND liberals stand on this obviously pork-filled salary raise for our elected officials who, by the way, are suffering some of the lowest approval ratings ever.
Any of you who think our Representatives actually have our best interests in mind — opposed to their own and those of lobbyists — can count yourselves included on that collective “Fuck you!” as well.
Can I get a “Fuck You?”
Posted by Mike Matthews in Craziness at 5:29 PM PDT
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Bob Dylan returns with “Modern Times” — his first collection of new material since 2001 — on Aug. 29. I can already hear the sounds of all that is good in this world. Nice to have you back, King Dylan!
I’m sure you all really care. What, tired of hearing that Kelly Clarkson song for the 12,006th time?
I bet Cormier will be all over this in a couple of minutes…
Posted by Mike Matthews in Music at 4:41 PM PDT
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Anyone attend the swanky DelDems convention in Dover on Friday? King Bitch herself, Ruth Ann Minner, was there “with a welcome address that charged up the crowd by highlighting the party’s recent accomplishments.” Yeah, like democrats in Delaware have to do more than wipe their own asses to win an election.
If you were at this decadent display, please feel free to send me some comments. Dish all the dirt you can on the Delaware Dems. Lord knows the Republicans’ dirt-dishing escapades have worked so well.
Any Helene Keeley sightings? Did Ruth Ann wear a dress or pantsuit? Were Delaware’s token gays, Doug and Corey Marshall-Steele, in attendance? Did Beau Biden wet himself? Was Daddy around to change his diaper? Come on, pimps and hos! You know where to send some love.
Update I: Phony, fictitious, and fallacious tips and rumors are welcomed, encouraged and greatly appreciated. Keep them spicy and ridiculous. Most importantly, keep them anonymous! No one wants an unshaven Ruth Ann Minner at their door at three in the morning.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 1:25 PM PDT
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You can have a lot of fun with a headline like “In Baghdad, Bush gives Iraqis assurances.”
What kind of assurances, Mr. President? I’m an ADD-riddled American. I don’t feel like delving deep into a boring, AP story.
Are the Iraqis assured of instantaneous peace? Are they assured of more threats on their lives via ridiculous insurgent attacks? Are they assured a beautiful democracy via the several “successful” elections the conservative chickenhawks keep touting? Empty gestures for all!
I love watching retards like George W. Bush continue to stick around on a ship that sank upon arrival. Perhaps someone needs to let our dear leader in on the joke.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Political Landscape at 1:04 PM PDT
Talk dirty to me »
They just don’t know when to give up. The Westboro Baptist clan is returning to Delaware tomorrow to picket the death of Army Staff Sgt. Darren Harmon, who was “Killed by IED,” as their site puts it. I guess these whackos haven’t been told that Harmon died naturally of a heart attack and not “God’s wrath,” as they like to purport.
I think I may go tomorrow. I ain’t doing shit! I don’t think I’ll be bringing along the video camera…maybe the digital. Anyone up for some mid-morning fun with these whackos?
Update I: Those cowards were a no-show! I guess they feared my all-powerful line of questioning!
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 11:33 AM PDT
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Lots of people are rejoicing the death of Iraqi terrorist and generally pathetic waste of human flesh Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Me too. The quicker more like him are killed, the better.
However, conservatives like Queen Diva Michelle Malkin are so freakin’ crazy in their lack of co-opting some of what those Krazy Kos Kids are saying. All Malkin can do is criticize what the Kos folks write. Some words of wisdom from Nickle at Kos:
With ABC news reporting that Zarqawi is dead, and a major press conference in Iraq planned for the morning, there is a good chance that the son of a bitch might be dead. Yet the United States needs to stop acting like this is a one man show.
Word is that the man was hated on the street, and a terrible leader. And we all know that much of the violence is not masterminded plots of terrorism. Instead it is the result of sectarian violence and general resistance.
Shouldn’t Michelle calm down? I mean, this Kos Krazy didn’t come out and praise al-Zarqawi, like many of us liberal loons obviously would! This “Nickle” person referred to him as a “son of a bitch,” which probably means he/she doesn’t really have much affection for al-Zarqawi. But folks like Malkin and her ravenous ilk just think this means things are going to get better. I’m willing to admit I MAY be wrong, but I don’t think al-Zarqawi’s death will mean a goddamn thing. It’s symbolic and ceremonial, but I doubt any earth-shattering changes will come to that trainwreck of a nation. So, Michelle…stop being crazy. The liberals hate al-Zarqawi, too. We’re just being a bit more realistic in our analysis as opposed to your typical, generic flag-waving that is pretty much worth shit in figurative currency.
(photo courtesy of a vengeful Allah)
Posted by Mike Matthews in Political Landscape at 10:36 AM PDT
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The News Journal has slimed, yet again.
I’m not the only one who criticizes The News Journal on a weekly –often daily– basis. If it weren’t for a couple of good writers they have over there (Ryan Cormier, Gary Soulsman and Patricia Talorico come to mind) and the daily crossword, the paper wouldn’t even be worthy enough to wipe my hairy ass.
For those of you not from Delaware, we have a bit of a scandal going on with our largest public school district, Christina School District. Apparantly, finances were so screwed up that the district lost more than $11 million over the past couple of years. Blame has been thrown around the state, but most seems to lie at the feet of former Superintendent Joseph Wise, who jumped ship several months ago –before his contract was up– and headed off to sunny Florida for better prospects. Long story short: many teachers will be fired and the students in the district will probably suffer with classroom populations skyrocketing and funds for necessary programs being eliminated.
So, in comes the big bad News Journal with a series of stories regarding the district’s extreme loss. One of these stories revolves around the salaries of Christina’s employees. Even worse, though, was the Journal’s PUBLISHING the salaries of EVERY Christina School District Employee. Yup, names and all. Now, I bet you’re all wondering, “Hey, these are public workers whose salaries are a matter of public record.” And, you’d all GENERALLY make a good point.
Where do I stand? Well, having spoken to a couple Christina School District employees (and employees from other districts), I offer this to all of you who think teacher should have their salaries sprayed around the Internet: Fuck You! And, Fuck The News Journal. This has NOTHING to do with public record. It has to do with an allegedly reputable news source using its pathetic might in an attempt to turn the dumb masses on teachers in Christina School District. It’s an intimidation tactic, if you ask me. Anyone can go check out salaries if they choose. However, The News Journal fucked up big time by publishing a searchable database of these teachers’ salaries. Hell, even the cafeteria workers and janitors had their salaries published. This is simply disgusting. Some in the Delaware blogosphere have eaten it up and played judge and jury.
Teachers are teachers. They are not politicians elected into office whose accountability should be routinely demanded by their constituents. Teachers do not have spin doctors and press teams to deflect bullshit phone calls at 7:30 in the morning to demand gifts of charity. This is disgusting and the absolute dirtiest I’ve ever seen The News Journal stoop.
We can agree to disagree, but teachers and other public workers are VERY different than elected politicians. Having taken a Communications Law course in college, I learned the difference between public and private citizenry. I’ll finish by saying this: Teachers are NOT classified as PUBLIC citizens. They are considered private citizens, just like the government workers who toil away at City Hall in Wilmington or file paperwork at the unemployment office in Glasgow. Politicians, by their very nature, are PUBLIC citizens who’ve put themselves out there to have their salaries scrutinized.
The News Journal knew what it was doing. And, to them, I offer a hearty “Fuck you!”
Clarification: I’m not even talking about The News Journal’s fuck up in applying one pay period to a teacher’s annual salary, as addressed by both Hube and DelaVoice. We should all expect such obvious screw ups like that. No, my point is that The News Journal is disgusting for just posting the salaries. End of story.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 4:57 PM PDT
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Is Blogspot slow for anyone else? I’m chillin’ here trying to read some of my favorite sites and everything just seems a mess. Anyone else having trouble accessing and commenting on Blogspot sites?
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 2:29 PM PDT
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The Wicker Man is a 1973 horror film with a worldwide cult following. Featuring Christopher Lee in his creepiest role to date, the film isn’t the gorefest one would think a film of its kind would be in the 70s. It’s a subtle and creepy flick about pagan rituals and a missing little girl. It’s very atmospheric and the folk-infused musical score is great.
Well, now they done gone and screwed it up by bringing the film to Hollywood and Americanizing it with uber-annoying Nicolas Cage playing the role of the mainland detective on the hunt for the missing little girl, Rowan. One of the original film’s assets was its great, Scottish setting. Of course, the dated look and feel of that film helped, as well. I’m not expecting it to be any good. Mostly because the trailer looks shitty (though the great Ellen Burstyn may make this one worth catching) and because the film is to be released Sept. 1. For those of you non-movie buffs, the first weekend of September is where Hollywood usually dumps the shit that isn’t worthy enough of a prime summer release or isn’t good enough for a cushier mid-Fall bow.
Either way, I’ll be checking it out. If you can find the original, RENT IT. It’s a classic by now.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Movies at 2:14 PM PDT
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A little birdie has alerted me to the fact that Queen Republican National Committeewoman Priscilla Rakestraw is celebrating a birthday today.
Who can forget Precious Priscilla’s tawdry fan dance with Republican senatorial candidate Jan Ting during 2004’s Republican Convention in New York City?
Happy Birthday, Precious! You don’t look a day over AARP-enrollment age!
(photo courtesy of DelawareGOP.com)
Update I: Sorry to the second commenter. I accidentally deleted your comment while deleting a bunch of spam.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 10:21 AM PDT
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