Continuing what Dana Garrett at Delaware Watch started last week, it seems John Feroce may have some more to explain than he’s letting on. Reliable sources have confirmed that Feroce’s check covering his election filing fee has bounced. Questions remain as to when the check bounced. It is unknown whether it bounced prior to or after the filing deadline of noon Friday, the 28th. If it bounced before Friday at noon, there may be no violation, whereas a violation may have occurred if it happened after because the filing deadline had passed.
Because the parties handle the filings prior to the Commissioner of Elections, I’m guessing the Republican Party may have violated a rule requiring them to inform the Commissioner of any such bounced checks. According to contacts at the Department of Elections, no such report has been made in reference to Feroce’s confirmed bounced check.
In related news, an anonymous source close to Feroce’s primary opponent, Barbara Alsopp, has relayed that she plans to argue that Feroce’s bouncing of the check should disqualify his candidacy. That would seem about accurate coming from the underdog who HASN’T been endorsed by party headquarters, though, right???
More to follow…
Posted by Mike Matthews in General, First State Filth at 5:22 PM PDT
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As usual, I’m home completing school work and getting all riled up because of stupid telemarketers interrupting me. Here’s a call I just took. This one is much shorter than the last I posted about.
Me: Hello?
Person working for company that clearly outsourced some poor schlub’s job: Is Michael Matthews there?
Me: No. He’s dead.
Person working for company that clearly outsources some poor schlub’s job: Ok. Have a nice day.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Dumb stuff at 4:10 PM PDT
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The hiatus…is…OVER!
From the depths of hell return two Delaware late-night mainstays! Jay and Amie of the unstoppable filthfest The Hott Spott will be returning to Monday nights. To celebrate their live, on-air return on August 7, Mr. Jay Rock will present to you all this week clips from old TV shows from the past six years. So, tune in every night this week to Comcast Channel 73 at 10:30 pm for classic Hott Spott repeats and be prepared for Jay’s and Amie’s live return at 10:30 pm next Monday.
Come get offended…!
Posted by Mike Matthews in The Hott Spott at 1:44 PM PDT
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As you may have read on Dana’s blog, we’ve been invited on Richard Korn’s local-access show tonight. The fun should start at about 7 pm on Comcast Channel 28. I’ll be the fat guy in a suit, with a bit of post-nasal drip. Yes, I’m a bit under the weather, but I’ve been medicating it since yesterday.
Bye.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 4:53 PM PDT
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Don’t forget today is the Democrat Loop! I’m starting off at the Brew Ha! Ha! in Branmar Plaza to meet Dennis Spivack in about an hour. Maybe I’ll meet Spivack fanboy and groupie Jason while I’m there!
Journal entry detailing events that unfolded, in the field, on July 29, 2006 : If it weren’t for the esteemed Professor Garrett, I don’t know if I would have been able to fully enjoy yesterday’s Democrat takeover of the state of Delaware!
Our adventure into the wilderness began promisingly enough in North Wilmington where we observed a particularly docile herd of homo Delaware democratus, as it were. Greeted by several early-morning-caffeine-induced subjects, Prof. Garrett and I made a quick approach to US Congressional Candidate Dennis Spivack, who was nearing a quick exit to greet fellow homo Delaware democratus followers at the Delaware State Fair. We cornered the subject auspiciously and decided to attempt a more up-close observation. Candidate Spivack seemed receptive to our verbal prodding and informal examination. Candidate Spivack remained cool and calm as the names of his formidable opponents were brought up. No visable distress signals appeared when names such as “Michael Castle” and “Karen Hartley-Nagle” were bandied about. Prof. Garrett and I hope to make further observations and conversations with Candidate Spivack in the future.
Next up was a lengthy and foliage-filled journey across state to Lantana Square Shopping Center, where 20th representative district candidate Richard Korn awaited in front of a feeding oasis known as ACME Supermarket. Comrade Korn awaited Prof. Garrett’s and my arrival and had a table filled with descriptive literature outlining the details of homo Delaware democratus. Prof. Garrett and I greedily accepted these intellectual treasures and made pleasant conversation with Candidate Comrade Korn and his mother and wife.
By this time, with our lips parched and bellies bare, Prof. Garrett and I thought it time to head out toward our final destination. Because the Riverfront Extrvaganza celebrating Atty. Gen. Candidate Beau Biden didn’t begin for over an hour, we thought of loading up on some nourishment. Thusly, we found a cozy spot at a Riverfront restaurant known as Iron Hill Brewery and gorged in earnest. I chose an individual BBQ-chicken pizza while the Professor dined on a Carolina-style-BBQ pulled pork sandwich. Our field study had been quite successful thus far and we felt our meal was well-deserved.
Once finished, Prof. Garrett and I chatted for a while, not allowing anxiousness to overtake us in their final journey to meet Candidate Biden. We headed out for the final, short journey to Candidate Biden’s headquarters in an oddly-named depot called “Shipyard Shops.” Upon entry, we noticed a vastly desolate office-scape with little more than three bodies present to greet Candidate Biden devotees. Unfortunately, Candidate Biden was nowhere to be found, which completely upset Prof. Garrett and myself. We were, however, greeded by a kindred spirit known as Diane Clarke Streett, an incumbant candidate seeking re-election as the Register of Wills for New Castle County. We were expeditiously handed various campaign literature by Candidate Streett, who made the assumption that were were of homo Delaware democratus. She eagerly handed us a crude instrument allegedly used for filing down one’s unwieldy nails. Prof. Garrett and I stared in amazement at this piece of — what looked like — a strip of sandpaper.
With our journey over, Prof. Garrett and I leave somewhat disappointedly, having not met Candidate Biden for one final picture and discussion. However, with 99 days left before homo Delaware democratus’ proposed dominant takeover, we feel there may be plenty more opportunities to meet the good Candidate Biden.
End Journal Entry. Filed July 30, 2006.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General, First State Filth at 8:14 AM PDT
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Sorry, Christine, baby, but you’re gettin’ bumped!
What is it they say? A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts? Hats off to the great Perez Hilton for leading me to this story. As many of you may know, film-star and gazillionaire-director of The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson, was yesterday arrested and charged with a DUI. Well, gossip site TMZ has on file a copy of the police report that the LAPD attempted to squash so as not to harm Gibson’s reputation. In the report, the arresting cop details some interesting language used by Gibson during the detaining period.
Some of Gibson’s gems:
To the police officer who detained him: “You mother fucker. I’m going to fuck you.”
I thought straight men don’t do that sort of thing? Well, Mel DID star in and direct The Man Without a Face…
Mel Gibson may not like Jews, either:
“Fucking Jews… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” Gibson then asked the deputy, “Are you a Jew?”
You can’t write this shit! And, not to ignore US Senate Candidate Christine O’Donnell…she has a connection to Mel Gibson in a way. She served as an “integral part” of the marketing team for Gibson’s blockbuster The Passion. Christine…you got some ’splainin to do, sweetpea?
Of course, this could all be one big lie, to which I say…who gives a shit? Mel Gibson is a douche!
Update I: Remember, this is the same Mel Gibson who hates the gays!
Update II: Question: Can one be both a conservative AND a hater of Jews Israel?
Posted by Mike Matthews in Craziness at 1:01 AM PDT
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Updates unraveling below…
Now this is one three-way I’d pay big bucks to see! An Asian, a pilot and a Catholic schoolgirl!
National conservative commentator (and proud Catholic) Christine O’Donnell has entered the fray to snatch Sen. Tom Carper’s cushy seat on Capitol Hill. She filed with the Department of Elections today. She’ll join Temple Law Professor Jan Ting and local sourpuss Mike Protack in a three-way Republican primary on Sept. 12. Ting has already received the party’s endorsement, though I wonder how O’Donnell’s candidacy will now affect the dynamics of internal GOP business. O’Donnell is a well-known national pundit who’s appeared on FOX News, MSNBC and Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. She’s also been featured as a Delaware Today cover girl. I’m awaiting a centerfold spread…
Update I: An anonymous tipster knowledgable of clandestine DeGOP activities informs me that O’Donnell’s filing today came as a complete surprise to party officials. In fact, most party insiders learned about her filing about the same time Friday afternoon that I did. Nothing like The Rick & Gerry Show to scoop all of us political nerds!
Update II: It seems the beautiful Republican-candidate is quite the activist. She’s the president of the oddly-sparse Catholic Advocacy Network, which seeks to “mobilize a grassroots network when [it] discover[s] violations of Catholics’ civil liberties.” Apparently, activist judges around the country are infringing on the rights of Catholics. No…really. Per O’Donnell’s group, the following “Did you knows…” are offered:
So, Did you know…?
In New Hampshire, the Legislature is considering a bill that would criminalize Catholic priests if they do not break the Seal of Confession and report cases of sexual abuse revealed in Confession to authorities. This proposed legislation undermines one of the seven Sacraments at the very heart of the Catholic Faith, a violation of which would automatically excommunicate the priest.
Well, when it’s the priests doing the abusing…I guess O’Donnell has a point.
In San Francisco, the California Supreme Court upheld a law forcing Catholic Charities to provide insurance coverage for prescription birth control to its employees, in complete disregard for the Catholic Church’s strong stand against artificial birth control.
Sometimes those liberal activist judges in California get a case or two wrong. I think O’Donnell may be on to something with this one. A private corporation certainly has a right to deny its employees certain services and prescriptions under a health insurance policy. My gig at the insurance company routinely dealt with multinational Catholic charities that didn’t cover prescription drug coverage and abortion for its employees. This didn’t mean the employee couldn’t purchase them out of pocket, though. Ms. O’Donnell seems to be good with this civil liberties stuff (as long as it doesn’t involve those pesky homosexuals or wire tapping). But…
These divas must be short on some cash. How can I tell? Well, it’s quite simple: The website’s a mess and half the pages aren’t even up…BUT they sure do have up their page soliciting donations! Whoever said a girl doesn’t know how to make a quick buck?
More to follow. I’m just warming up. This conservative diva’s got me all warm and tingly inside!
Update III: Is the Catholic Advocacy Network not paying its bills? I just emailed an interview request to the email address noted, and it bounced back! My email:
Hello, Christine…
Congratulations on your surprise filing and entrance into the delicious three-way primary for the Republican slot in November’s election against Sen. Tom Carper. I run the popular Delaware blog Down with Absolutes! and I was wondering if you would be interested in an interview? Either by email or at a local Wawa for some coffee? I’m a bit irreverent and my humor may be a bit offensive, but I give everyone a fair shake and would be willing to feature you on my site.
Please consider,
Mike Matthews
And that shit was returned! Perhaps Ms. O’Donnell’s box is filled with cobwebs SPAM!??!
Update IV: Apparently, Pope Benedict is a rock star like Bono. In a public gathering celebrating the new Pope, O’Donnell made the following observation:
“The youth were yelling like he was Bono even though they couldn’t see him,” said Christine O’Donnell from Delaware.
I don’t know about you, but brokedown (but not Brokeback, mind you!) and Shar-peid-lookin’ ain’t exactly my definition of “rock star” (Mick Jagger and Keith Richards excluded, obviously!).
Posted by Mike Matthews in General, First State Filth at 11:25 PM PDT
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Do you love pets but are tired of all that awful Friday catblogging? Want something a bit more consistent? Well, head on over to The News Journal’s Of Pets and People animal blog by Asst. Managing Editor Jill Fredel. Jill is a personal friend and I was pleasantly surprised to stumble upon this new blog. Not really new; the archives date back to March. It seems Jill’s blog hasn’t yet been listed on Delaware Online’s main blog-index page.
Head on over and comment on my friend’s blog. Unlike a hissing python (or your own rabies-infested pet), Jill won’t bite!
Posted by Mike Matthews in Friends at 10:46 PM PDT
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I’ve come to the conclusion that, without fresh blueberries, summer would be a complete waste of three months.
Posted by Mike Matthews in Dumb stuff at 2:07 PM PDT
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I used to be a huge fan of FOX’s The X-Files until about Season 7 when the mythology became too much to handle. I hope to one day have a marathon of every episode from Seasons 1 through 9 just to complete the experience. One of the reasons I was so captivated by the show back in 6th grade was the fire-haired beauty that is Gillian Anderson. I found her Dana Scully to be quite compelling and totally convincing as the skeptic playing opposite David Duchovny’s sister-seekin’ Fox Mulder.
I was surprised to read about Anderson in the news today, seeing as how she’s kept a fairly low profile since the show completed its run four years ago. Apparently, she’s pregnant. But, that’s not what shocked me. That she’s only 37 truly amazed me. This would mean she started on The X-Files at the age of…24! I guess I’ve got some serious shit to accomplish! So shower me with praise. Let me know that I’m more important than I really am.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 8:42 PM PDT
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The Jews are all frothy! Crazy, Muslim fanatics are engulfing Israel in fire and brimstone. Israel, of course, isn’t taking it lightly and is rightfully giving it back to them, killing 10-times more Lebanese-folk than vice versa. Israel, though, certainly seems more justified in its actions than America was in Iraq. If Canada was showering the US with missles, you’d better believe I’d take some Maple-Leaf waving bitches down with me!
And so, that’s why all the Jews and right-wing folk who love them Israel will be joining them at the Bernard and Ruth Siegel Jewish Community Center in Wilmington for some gefilte fish and kugel. Stop by on Wednesday at 7 pm and join in the totally knuckle-biting verklemptness! This event is BYOY.
Hube at The Colossus of Rhodey is wondering whether Loony Liz Allen will show up. I say it’s doubtful. Though, if she does, I’m sure she’ll show up with her cabal of militant black Muslim men.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth, Religion at 11:02 PM PDT
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Some friends of mine got “into it” on today’s Rick Jensen show on WDEL. Jason from Delaware Liberal and Vernon from somewhere got into a pleasant war of words.
In short, Jason believes that to vote for anyone other than a Democrat would be a wasted vote. That is, to say, that voting for a potentially “progressive,” or even “liberal” Republican would be worse than voting for a “conservative” Democrat. In short, loyalty to the party is more important than loyalty to ideology. Vernon, on the other hand, believes the proof is the candidate, citing such “progressive” Republicans as Tyler Nixon and Cathy Cloutier as examples of how some Republicans are actually working toward “progressive” goals. I put the progressive in quotes because, honestly, in the end, it is a rather subjective word.
Click here to listen to the exchange between Jason and Vernon, with Rick and Gerry moderating. Good stuff! Hear Rick Jensen get all happy as a pig in mud when he hears all those liberals “eating their own” on his show! Now, when are you getting me on the show, Rick? I promise I’ll give your FCC dump boy some action he’s never before seen!
Thanks to the truly anonymous tipster who sent in the clip of the exchange. I’ve got an Oreo Cookie Cheesecake in the works just for you!
Posted by Mike Matthews in Friends at 10:18 PM PDT
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I’ve been quite lax in promoting the activities of several of my friends in the comedy world. Under the direction of the great Jay Rock, the Heroes of Comedy are taking over Delaware. Once-monthly shows at Joes The Unchain in Wilmington are serving up heaps of deliciously raucous and offensive comedy. The next show at Joes will be Aug. 11. However, there is a show with several of the Heroes tonight in Newark.
Featuring Mike Petro, Jared Bilski, and Janice Kamalski, three Heroes regulars, these deviants will be taking over Shaggy’s on Main Street in Newark from 8-10 tonight. Headlining the show will be the great Jimmy “Roundboy” Graham, who finds plenty of time to give some lovin’ to Delaware.
The best part? This show is FREE. Yes. All of you cheap Delaware mofos will only have to put out for your food and beverages (and whores, if applicable) tonight! The entertainment is on the house! And, who knows, maybe you’ll see me in the crowd a bit later in the evening?
So, to recap: Go see my friends. They’re all REALLY funny. And they won’t give you an STD.
Update I: For some real comedy, check out the thread currently unraveling at Why I Mock Loony Christians. If you remember, this is where I lovingly poke fun at the couple that had its 16th child last fall. Apparently, some folk named Olivia and Bubba (one in the same?) have taken over the thread with some nonsensical business. Enjoy!
Posted by Mike Matthews in Friends at 11:55 AM PDT
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Oh the things one can find on a lonely Friday eve with nothing better to do! Trolling around Delaware State Treasurer Jack Markell’s web site, I stumbled upon his ridiculously impressive biography. According to what’s written, Jack Markell must be a gazillionaire for coining the brand name “Nextel.” Who knew?
The sad thing is, Nextel sucks. After being suckered into a two-year contract, my sister finally got rid of her cheap-ass “beep! beep!” Nextel phone and traded up for a plan with Verizon. For two-years straight, she was always saying “Fuck Nextel!” “Fuck NEXTEL!” If only she knew the homeboy who coined the term was the one signing her state tax return, my sister could have instead been screaming “F*** Jack Markell!” His wife’s quite attractive, though.
Update I: I don’t think Jack Markell likes me. He (or his well-paid campaign kids) keeps deleting my totally innocuous comments from his sparsely-updated blog. Let’s hope the good secretary doesn’t take my bullshit too seriously!
Update II: Post has been toned down a bit out of respect for my (now) good friend and future governor Jack Markell.
Posted by Mike Matthews in First State Filth at 11:52 PM PDT
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On July 29, Democrats will be holding what I’ll coin a “pre-gloating” gloat party. All around the state, the democrats will be taking over on this, the 100th day before November’s general election. Anyone else think this whole shindig is quite superfluous? When’s the last time those bitches didn’t hold a majority of everything in this state?
Pick your poison. US Congressional Candidate Dennis Spivack will be showing up for a treason-and-sedition-flavored mocha at the Brew Ha! Ha! in Branmar Plaza, while Beau Biden and his hair will be appearing at the Shipyard Shops in Wilmington for a few. Here’s the rundown, straight from the horse’s donkey’s mouth, with my recommendations following:
Brandywine Hundred/Northern Wilmington
Brew Haha! Cafe
Branmar Plaza
Wilmington, DE 19803
9am-12pm
Hosted by 11th Representative District Candidate Eric Levin and 5th Senate District Candidate Patricia Morrison
US Congressional Candidate Dennis Spivack will be attending!
Riverfront in Wilmington
Biden for Attorney General HQ
Shipyard Shoppes
918 S. Madison Street
Wilmington, DE 19801
1pm to 3pm
Hosted by the Biden for Attorney General Campaign
East Newark
Dunkin’ Donuts
Intersection of Harmony Road and Rt. 4
10am to 12 noon
Hosted by 18th Representative District Candidate Mike Barbieri
West Newark
Barksdale (Handloff) Park
Newark, DE 19711
1pm
Hosted by Paul Baumbach
Hockessin
Acme Market
Lantana Square Shopping Center
Rt. 7 - Limestone Road
10am to 11:30am
Hosted by the 20th Representative District Committee and Candidate for the 20th Representative District Richard Korn
Harrington
Delaware State Fair- Harrington Fair Grounds
Harrington, DE 19952
10am
Hosted by the Delaware Democratic Party and The Kent County Executive Committee
Milton
Federal Street Gallery/Espresso
108 Federal Street
Milton, DE 19968
10am
Hosted by Diana Reardon
Southeastern Sussex
Canvass in the 38th Representative District
Meeting place TBD - Check Back Soon!
Hosted by the 38th Representative District Committee
Rehoboth Beach/Eastern Sussex
Area Canvass
Meeting place TBD - Check Back Soon!
Hosted by the 14th Representative District Committee and the Eastern Sussex Democratic Club
Because anything BTC (Below the Canal) is totally inconvenient, I suggest the following course of action. First, we hit Branmar Plaza at 9 am and check in with the Spivack camp to ask him if he really thinks he can beat Dumbo Mike Castle in the race for Delaware’s lone House seat. Stay there for an hour and then head off to Dunkin’ Donuts in Newark for a nice Iced Caramel Latte. Indian accent not required. A trip to Lantana Square to check out Richard Korn and his Communist supporters would be next. I hear Acme will have a sale on jumbo lump crab meat. I need some of that. Then we can head off to the biggie at the Shipyard Shops. Maybe I’ll finally breakdown and shake Beau Biden’s hand.
Anyone want to do this marathon with me?
Posted by Mike Matthews in General, First State Filth at 11:12 PM PDT
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DUI Checkpoint. Right Now. Route 52 (Pennsylvania Ave.) in front of Tower Hill. Throw the bottles out the window and toss back the Tic-Tacs!
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 10:38 PM PDT
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As I was sitting here bored checking out the On Demand movies on digital cable, I decided to check out the DATING ON DEMAND ads. I’ve checked them out once before and laughed my ass off — it’s amazing how people act and what they’ll say in front of a camera. I love seeing some of the desperation and wondering “what the fuck is wrong with that person?!”
Anyway, I ran across a name, Noumena, which was all too familiar. A thick blond who talks too fucking much, is terribly full of herself, and is quite exhausting to hear/read/watch. After the 3 or so exhausting minutes, I realized it was definitely our very own Jaime Anne! This girl is a psychologist?? JESUS!!!! HELP `EM!
It’s on ON DEMAND. The path is: ON DEMAND, THE CUTTING EDGE, DATING ON DEMAND, NAUGHTY. Noumena is last on the list. LAWD, HAVE MERCY!!! I didn’t know pyschologists talked so damn much or were so full of themselves tho — well, at least this one is.
TITTIES, TITTIES, TITTIES!!!! (And I’m SO not referring to her bosom!! I just don’t know what more to say!!) A girl surely has some HUGE BALLS!! WE MUST HAVE COCKTAILS, GIRL!! I now have an even deeper respect for you — why, though, I’m just not sure at this point!! HOLLA BACK, GIRL, cuz I LOVE a woman with balls!!!!! MAD PROPS TO YOU, SISTAH!!!
Posted by Justin in Craziness, Heroes at 7:55 PM PDT
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My web guru rocks. If you notice, there are several new features to the right. If you ever need to dish me some dirt, click on the “Contact DWA” button. If you’d like to remain anonymous, of course you can put in fake info. Even if you make shit up, I still enjoy getting emails. There’s also a calendar and the ability to read posts written by specific authors.
If any of you ever need some web hosting or web design stuff, then head on over to Infinite Pixel. Her logo is also located at the bottom of the menu to the right.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 9:10 AM PDT
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Anyone here like that mustachioed hack from ABC News who reviews movies? No? Well, neither do I! I’ve been spending quite a bit of time at home recently now that my summer school observations are done, so I’ve had some time to catch up on funny stuff. This little kerfuffle between Siegel and director Kevin Smith is amazingly funny.
In brief: Siegel, for the first time in 30 years, walked out of a critics’ film screening. The film? Kevin Smith’s July 21 release Clerks II. As Smith says, it isn’t so bad that Siegel walked out (though he does question the professionalism of such an act). Siegel truly committed an act of assholery when he decided to scream “Time to go!” and “This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!” only 40 minutes into the movie. So, not only does Siegel fail to do his job by watching the film, but he disrupts the screening for the other critics!
Check out Smith’s diatribe on Silent Bob Speaks. Smith also includes a link to a hilarious radio duel between himself and Siegel on Opie & Anthony. The best part? Siegel, the douche, doesn’t realize he’s actually talking to Smith until half-way through the clip! What an asshat.
I, for one, will be supporting Smith’s film by catching a show this weekend.
Update I: I knew it was coming. Everyone’s favorite conservative, obsessive movie critic, Debbie Schlussel, is chiming in on Joel Siegel’s hissy fit. Needless to say, what Schlussel says doesn’t come as a surprise. Her continued holier-than-though take on everything Hollywood is quite predictable.
Update II: The reviews are in. So far, Clerks II is whipping the ass of its stiffest competition, M. Night Shyamalan’s likely newest piece of shit, Lady in the Water. Not that I’m surprised. As has been discussed with many of my friends, I’ve seen all of Shyamalan’s four biggest films in the theater and have, literally, hated them all. Signs, especially, was a manipulative piece of garbage. And I guessed the ending to The Village right when the blind bitch hopped over the stone wall. Unbreakable was ridiculously stupid and inept while The Sixth Sense just dragged on for what seemed like an interminable counseling session. One thing seems sure: M. Night Shyamalan is more impressed with his own trickery than I am.
Posted by Mike Matthews in General at 12:08 PM PDT
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