The good Samaritan in me is urging me to help educate Delawarean voters. While I congratulate Madam O’Donnell on her candidacy, I have a few questions that I think should be on all of our minds. She can answer them at her earliest convenience.
1: The fact that your website is called “faithandflag.com” falls just shy of satire, essentially paraphrasing Sinclair Lewis’ famous quote regarding fascism. Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the one with the “God, Guns and Country” signs in ‘06. Who is your communications director, and when will you be firing him/her?
2: You specifically say you’ll only pursue two terms, because too much time in Congress leads to corruption and anti-Americanism, so this question is a two-parter. First off, what votes did Biden cast that were anti-American? Examples might include the Violence Against Women Act or the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act. Secondly, why aren’t you primarying Mike Castle? He is now about to hit his 16th year in Congress (the equivalent of almost three senatorial terms), and has been casting votes not only for issues that are anti-Delawarean (for example, the war), but also issues that I would assume you stand against (for example, stem cell research). Your odds are better by far with Castle, since you appeal to extremely partisan GOP voters. The only reason I can think of that you’d run against Biden is that the Republicans needed somebody to do it. But then, you’re not a big enough party tool to commit political suicide, are you?
3: Piggybacking on question #2, you don’t mention the White House when you blame the deficit on congressional seniority. This is another two parter. First of all, do you believe that GOP members of Congress are to blame for the deficit between 2000 and 2006, and if so, what have you done to denounce their level of corruption? The second part refers to a later section of your paragraph in which you use the terms “bribery” and “lobbying”. Were you referring to Jack Abramoff or Vicki Iseman?
4: When you say “I will always vote in favor of life and in support of families”, are you saying that Biden is against life or families? If so, do you think he’s diverted from that platform with the Violence Against Women Act?
5: The shallow emotional responses you’re trying to elicit are completely reminiscent of the fear tactics employed by BushCo in 2004. Did ISI write this for you, or are you simply being manipulative, a la the politicians you lament in the release?
6: You made a point of specifically addressing abortion in the release, which was the only clear social issue you addressed. Am I to understand that abortion is that central of a role in your campaign? If so, have you considered running in the Bible Belt, as oppose to a blue state?
7: When you brought up abortion, you mentioned a “profound loss of respect for all human life”. In keeping with that, will you be voting against the war, torture and the death penalty?
8: Going by the aforementioned campaign slogan, you are very fond of guns. Are you pro-life enough to vote to regulate deadly weaponry, or do you limit those opinions to medical settings?
9: You say that “[w]e are treating the sick, indigent and dying as if the value of their lives is measured by their economic productivity.” Are you familiar with Walter Reed Army Medical Center?
10: You say the Republican Party was founded on respect for life. Do you, then, find it odd that George Bush let over 100 executions happen as governor of Texas, or that John Ashcroft personally urged judges to give death penalty verdicts?
11: You say that you’ll be voting against “pork-barrel legislation” and “earmarks”, language which comes directly out of the John McCain playbook. Logically, then, you would want to limit contributions from special interests and corporations to your campaign. My question is, will you be going with public financing, or individual donations? As a follow-up, what will you say to the tax-payers/donors when you waste their money on a failed campaign?
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 9:51 PM PDT
9 Comments | Gimme some more »
I’ve told Mike and Dis already, but the short and sweet is that I’m taking one. I’m not sure how much I’m at liberty to say in the public domain at this point, but ultimately, I’ve taken a job that will be taking a good portion of my time up, and DWA will have to go on the backburner while I do it.
I know we’ve been pretty lame about posting, for different reasons (up until now, mine was just laziness), and this probably won’t help, but I simply will not have the time to write as many posts as before until, I imagine, the end of the year.
Look out for me in the comments section, though. If I find time, I’ll blast some of you. 
Take it easy,
Mat
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 6:52 PM PDT
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Tomorrow, divas-in-training Liz Allen and Karen Hartley-Nagle will be hosting some top-notch guests on In-Depth Delaware (channel 28).
The two lovely ladies will have three candidates for Insurance Commissioner on the air:
Tom Savage
Karen Weldin-Stewart
John Brady
Gene Reed is unavailable due to scheduling conflict, and City Councilman Sammy Prado (for whom I was pulling) has elected to drop his candidacy for the position, and simply run for city council reelection. You’ll be missed, Sammy.
This will be the first open forum for the 2008 I.C. candidates — it’s sure to be interesting. Since Denn is leaving the post, we will undoubtedly be losing top-notch leadership in Delaware’s government. I just hope that one of the three remaining candidates can fill his shoes.
At any rate, tune in, kids!
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 10:55 PM PDT
15 Comments | Gimme some more »
Go.
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 8:56 PM PDT
51 Comments | Gimme some more »
Literally an hour or so ago, Mike and I were attacked by BUBBA.
I put it up as a Facebook note because it actually made me laugh.
Mike,
I’ll bet you’re scared of Hillary because she has more sense in her most recent bowel movement than you’ll ever have in your lifetime. Get over yourself, Hillary will come back with Texas because the Hispanics are for Hillary, the Hispanics and most White people who don’t have jungle fever are supporting her, we want our country run on wisdom and actions, not just a little media monkey (Obama), he has no experience and is just a little show and tell. GET A GRIP, I’m sure Hillary would find it amusing as heck that people whom she could buy and sell are spending time and energy ragging her, she could care less what you or any of your other little faggot acquaintances have to say about her, so go find you a Mariposa Barbie to Play with Mat Marshall with, that’s as close to a date with the opposite sex that you’ll ever get!!! I bet Hillary Clinton would not piss on you if you were on fire!!!
A friend of mine responded in what can only be described as poetry.
This troubles me.
Not because of the near-prokaryotic lack of discernable intellect
Not because of the agonizingly obvious externalization of BUBBA’s surpressed love for cock
Not because of BUBBA’s immediate use of a shit-based insult, indicative of latent coprophilia
Not for any of the evident douche-rocketry that peppers BUBBA’s statement
But because for the life of me, I can’t seem to deconstruct the passage. Whenever someone says something that falls into the realm of stupidity and politics, I am comforted by the fact that, given a written copy of the statement, I can isolate and address all factual errors and logical fallacies. I can separate the strawmen from the ad hominems; I am sort the Bob Jones figures from the MIT figures.
But not here.
Somehow the maelstrom of non sequiturs and sheer liquid retardation that slicks BUBBA’s words just melds together into an indecipherable, yet wholly moronic perspective on reality. It’s almost as if this writing was a deliberately crafted tapestry of dumb–engineered by a master satirist and overseen by the stern proctorship of Jeff Foxworthy. It’s fucking teasing me and I don’t like it.
Somehow, as I attempt to isolate the multitudinous elements that make BUBBA so wrong, I just get lost in the inbred majesty of it all. It’s almost a physical preoccupation, a gut feeling if you will.
Actually, the gut feeling is probably just the result of BUBBA’s stupidspeak coalescing into a large ungainly turd and staging a profane junta in my colon, but whatever, life goes on.
To be an Obama supporter in this present time is somewhat analogous to how early an early homo sapien must have felt when he invented the wheel. He still felt a sense of attachment to his fellows who were still dragging their shit around, but also a sense of mute amazement at the sheer magnitude of their ignorance. It’s the same paradigm today, except the dim bulbs aren’t dragging their old square ideas through Pleistocene sandbars, they’re dragging them through the sulfur fields and brimstone quarries of Hillary Clinton’s demonic cooter.
Sorry, but every tirade requires at least one vagina joke of extremely poor taste. (Hey-Oh!!!!)
Honestly though, I’m was an Edwards boy and now I’m just bitter. But BUBBA is an offensively stupid person and Hillary is just great joke fodder, so in conclusion…………..
Pants are waaaaayyyy overrated.
Oh, and I wouldn’t want Hillary Clinton to piss on me, even if I was on fire. Indeed I would much rather fellate a gattling gun than act on advice from Clinton.
Additionally
Grammatical errors include, but are not limited to:
“so go find you” defies the laws of English the same way Dumbledore defies the laws of physics, except Dumbledore kicks ass and BUBBA feasts on it.
“Play” is randomly capitalized. Perhaps we should respond in kind…
“fUcK yoU SiDeWaYS WiTh a SawHoRSe!!!”
“with Mat Marshall with” almost a palindrome, but not quite. Kinda like how you’re almost sentient, but not quite. Also painfully awkward to read; I award you no points.
” that’s as close to a date with the opposite sex that you’ll ever get!!!”
“That” is not a word that can be used as a comparison. “That” indicates, it does not compare, much in the same way that your writing indicates that you in fact were not aborted, but your mental capacity just doesn’t compare.
Also, in the highly unlikely event that “BUBBA” responds here:
Yes BUBBA, I’m aware that I am your bitch and that you will assfuck me six ways from Sontag, but this has its benefits. I won’t have to look at any of you and I only have to smell some of you.
Furthermore, I am also aware that I possess a penis that is surely lesser in stature and girth than yours. However, mine is in my pants and yours is in your mother.
THIS is why the voting age should be dropped.
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 10:53 PM PST
29 Comments | Gimme some more »
This is hilarious.
Stuff White People Like
I haven’t read all of these, but so far, they’re all true for me. Except for the standing still at concerts thing. I get my awkward groove on.
h/t Tyler Nixon
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 11:59 AM PST
13 Comments | Gimme some more »
Your Children are in Peril: Another Modest Proposal
By Sudi Green
Parenting Expert and Professional (kinda)
Teens: undeniably, they are the future of our nation. They have the power to make change, to create new frontiers, to trail-blaze new opportunities for all of us. In thirty years, this generation of teens will be our senators, teachers, award winning scientists, and nurses emptying our bed pans when we’re old, decrepit, and burdens on society. Kids these days have so many possibilities ahead of them, but do we see them growing stem cells in their 9th grade science projects? Are they writing Oprah’s book club novels? Are they strategically planning buy outs of Fortune 500 companies? No! Something is clouding their judgment; preventing them from achieving the monumental accomplishments they are probably capable of if we just push them hard enough. But what is it?
The answer is simple ladies and gentlemen; sex. Sex, sex, sex. It’s all the teens do these days. I know what you’re telling yourself: “but my little boy/girl doesn’t do that! They’re a good kid. Plus, how could they have time for any of that stuff what with all the activities, clubs, and sports that I bog them down with and stiflingly impress upon them that they must do to be successes in life?” So naïve! Do you really think your Trevor is practicing his curve ball for the three hours you require each night? Oh no, he’s making whoopee in the dug out without a care. Think little Cindy is reading Balzac to the homeless like she told you? Wrong; she’s off willingly tainting her virtue. And bright-eyed Timmy? Is he staying after school to tutor the underprivileged kids in the ancient art of sand gardens? Definitely not! He’s out playing hooky and doing the hanky panky right under your nose. And when these kids aren’t off participating in the original sin, they’re thinking about it. All the time. Before school, when they wake up, when they go to sleep, in class, at dinner, and in church! No wonder they’ve become so lazy and good for nothing. Their minds are completely clouded by sin.
But can we blame our impressionable youth? Let’s be honest, sex is all around them, and we do nothing to stop this terrible practice from entering our children’s minds. Entering like a seed that eventually grows into an evil Venus fly trap, hungrily capturing morals in its green jaws. Plus, it’s not like we are lacking for information. We all know sexual urges at a teen’s age are just purely unnatural and freakish. I mean, no previous generations have been as sex crazed as this right? I know I never, ever, ever had, or even thought about, sex when I was their age. The problem is that when your children are asleep at night, evil little cretins called hormones enter their bodies and stake their claim. These terrible hormones cause them to break out, deepen their voices, grow them hair in funny places and make them crave that special kind of healing prescribed by Dr. Marvin Gaye.
Now you must be asking yourself, concerned parents, “but what can I do? How can I save my baby from the plague that is sex and those horrible hormones!” A just question, but to answer it, we must look at the source of the problem. We know hormones are terrible abominations of the body, but do we know where they come from? Pop culture. Hormones live in the sound waves of popular rap and rock and roll music. They reside in the screens of TV shows with Sara Jessica Parker. They hovel in movies filled with cleavage, explosions, and crude thrustings more commonly referred to as “dance.” It’s everywhere! The only way you can save your little devils from the plague of hormones is to block all modern pop culture references from them. Scratch their CDs! Smash your television screen, and you might as well start smearing that peanut butter in your DVD player right now. Lock up your radios and magazines! In fact, just lock up your children. That’s probably the safest way to assure that they never have sex or even think about it again. Just invest in some padded walls and libido suppressors (this kind of medication isn’t FDA approved yet, but I know a guy who knows a guy who can get them really cheap from Taiwan) and, before you know it, your kids will soon be hormone and sex free.
You’ll have to probably wait about six years for your teens to be truly safe from their sexual perversions, but when they come out of their little cells… I mean, rooms… they’ll surely thank you for saving their bodies and souls. After years of solitary confinement and hormone therapy, our future generation will be ready to buckle down, get married, and have moral, unpassionate sex, purely for procreation purposes, like normal people. We just have to take action now before sex chokes our teens and eventually sabotages our nation as we know it
Speechless. I think this girl may be a dream.
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 6:17 PM PST
24 Comments | Gimme some more »
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of happy.
I had heard of this from a rather reliable source before (if said source wishes to expand upon that, I encourage him/her to post a comment), and word is that his wife has been “returning the favor”, as they say.
Tell me, what does this mean in terms of drawing parallels to Uncle Bill? Has he just lost even MORE of the conservative vote?
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 8:09 PM PST
19 Comments | Gimme some more »
Are the world’s ice caps melting because of climate change, or are the reports just a lot of scare mongering by the advocates of the global warming theory?
Scare mongering appears to be the case, according to reports from the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) that reveal that almost all the allegedly “lost” ice has come back. A NOAA report shows that ice levels which had shrunk from 5 million square miles in January 2007 to just 1.5 million square miles in October, are almost back to their original levels.
Moreover, a Feb. 18 report in the London Daily Express showed that there is nearly a third more ice in Antarctica than usual, challenging the global warming crusaders and buttressing arguments of skeptics who deny that the world is undergoing global warming.
The Daily express recalls the photograph of polar bears clinging on to a melting iceberg which has been widely hailed as proof of the need to fight climate change and has been used by former Vice President Al Gore during his “Inconvenient Truth” lectures about mankind’s alleged impact on the global climate.
Gore fails to mention that the photograph was taken in the month of August when melting is normal. Or that the polar bear population has soared in recent years.
As winter roars in across the Northern Hemisphere, Mother Nature seems to have joined the ranks of the skeptics.
As the Express notes, scientists are saying the northern Hemisphere has endured its coldest winter in decades, adding that snow cover across the area is at its greatest since 1966. The newspaper cites the one exception — Western Europe, which had, until the weekend when temperatures plunged to as low as -10 C in some places, been basking in unseasonably warm weather.
Around the world, vast areas have been buried under some of the heaviest snowfalls in decades. Central and southern China, the United States, and Canada were hit hard by snowstorms. In China, snowfall was so heavy that over 100,000 houses collapsed under the weight of snow.
Jerusalem, Damascus, Amman, and northern Saudi Arabia report the heaviest falls in years and below-zero temperatures. In Afghanistan, snow and freezing weather killed 120 people. Even Baghdad had a snowstorm, the first in the memory of most residents.
AFP news reports icy temperatures have just swept through south China, stranding 180,000 people and leading to widespread power cuts just as the area was recovering from the worst weather in 50 years, the government said Monday. The latest cold snap has taken a severe toll in usually temperate Yunnan province, which has been struck by heavy snowfalls since Thursday, a government official from the provincial disaster relief office told AFP.
Twelve people have died there, state Xinhua news agency reported, and four remained missing as of Saturday.
An ongoing record-long spell of cold weather in Vietnam’s northern region, which started on Jan. 14, has killed nearly 60,000 cattle, mainly bull and buffalo calves, local press reported Monday. By Feb. 17, the spell had killed a total of 59,962 cattle in the region, including 7,349 in the Ha Giang province, 6,400 in Lao Cai, and 5,571 in Bac Can province, said Hoang Kim Giao, director of the Animal Husbandry Department under the Vietnamese Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development, according to the Pioneer newspaper.
In Britain the temperatures plunged to -10 C in central England, according to the Express, which reports that experts say that February could end up as one of the coldest in Britain in the past 10 years with the freezing night-time conditions expected to stay around a frigid -8 C until at least the middle of the week. And the BBC reports that a bus company’s efforts to cut global warming emissions have led to services being disrupted by cold weather.
Meanwhile Athens News reports that a raging snow storm that blanketed most of Greece over the weekend and continued into the early morning hours on Monday, plunging the country into sub-zero temperatures. The agency reported that public transport buses were at a standstill on Monday in the wider Athens area, while ships remained in ports, public services remained closed, and schools and courthouses in the more severely-stricken prefectures were also closed.
Scores of villages, mainly on the island of Crete, and in the prefectures of Evia, Argolida, Arcadia, Lakonia, Viotia, and the Cyclades islands were snowed in.
More than 100 villages were snowed-in on the island of Crete and temperatures in Athens dropped to -6 C before dawn, while the coldest temperatures were recorded in Kozani, Grevena, Kastoria and Florina, where they plunged to -12 C.
Temperatures in Athens dropped to -6 C before dawn, while the coldest temperatures were recorded in Kozani, Grevena, Kastoria and Florina, where they plunged to -12 C.
If global warming gets any worse we’ll all freeze to death.
I found this posted in a Facebook note… I replied essentially calling it crap, but I’d like to know what you guys make of it.
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 3:59 PM PST
11 Comments | Gimme some more »
Am I plagiarizing anybody when I say that this is bullshit?
I find it incredibly ironic that Obama is being attacked by the now-imploding Clinton Campaign for PARAPHRASING the words of a friend, who gave him permission to use them. Oh, did I mention that those words were quotes? So is this like, second degree plagiarism?
The grabs at attacks are getting pathetic, really. I think we’re seeing a falling star.
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 10:19 AM PST
21 Comments | Gimme some more »
–This one’s a doozy, kids. Well worth it, but it’s a long read–
So you read lesson one. You either said to yourself, “Damn! That kid knows his shit!” or “Damn! That kid spends way too much time on the computer!”.
Either way, I made my point. Unless you’ve got some sort of a weird attachment to proprietary software (you freak), I’m going to lead you through some replacements. The majority of these will be open source, though you’ll find some freeware in there. Until an open source alternative is available, freeware will have to suffice. Don’t worry. These come with my stamp of approval.
Also, Mac users, you’re out of luck. I don’t know my ass from my elbow when it comes to revamping your computers. No worries. Windows users need it most. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Mat Marshall in General at 12:21 AM PST
9 Comments | Gimme some more »
